“Not right now. This is not about you. It’s about daddy and me.” While a divorce is a matter between you and your partner, it is easy to forget about your children’s feelings. This does not mean you should stay together because your kids want you to, but you need to take time to check in with your kids and understand how your divorce is affecting them.
Here are a few things you need to discuss with your kids:
- They are not responsible: Many children feel they are to blame for the problems between their parents.
- They cannot make it better or change it: Some children think they can bring their parents back together if they act in a certain way; this is not always conscious. Some kids try behaving better than ever while others misbehave.
- They are still loved: Saying I love you is important, kids need to hear it. Children can be confused when their parents are acting differently due to the strain of divorce.
- How your separation will affect them: Take time to discuss with your children how your divorce will change their life. They will be concerned about things you may never have considered, such as who will feed the hamster or if you will still eat lasagne on Fridays.
An attorney can help you deal with the legal requirements of a divorce involving children, such as child custody and support payments. It is up to you as parents to look after your child’s emotional needs.