Five tips for effective communication during divorce

The divorce process is often riddled with emotional and logistical challenges. Depending on the facts surrounding your marriage dissolution, you may experience a deep sense of hurt, and the reality of your normal life being upended can leave you frightened of the future. As if that isn’t enough to contend with, you also have to find a way to navigate complex legal issues, such as those pertaining to property division, alimony, child custody and child support.

Building effective communication during divorce

Navigating these matters can be even more challenging when you can’t have a simple conversation with your spouse. These communication issues are common in divorce, often threatening to delay effective negotiations and derail positive outcomes. If you want to prevent that from happening to you, you might want to consider implementing some of the following tips:

1. Think through what you’re going to say before saying it: It’s easy to get wrapped up in the emotional components of your divorce. As a result, you might have an urge to say what immediately pops into your mind. But doing so may result in you saying something that only causes more friction in your relationship with your spouse and puts up another obstacle to successful negotiation. Therefore, you’ll want to take the time needed to ensure you’re in the right state of mind before communicating with your spouse.
2. Consider minimizing communication: If you and your spouse struggle to get through basic conversations and you’re thus worried about how you’re going to negotiate divorce settlement, you may want to think about ways to simply minimize your contact with your spouse. You may need to modify modes of communication, such as by only responding in writing, or you might want to use someone as a go-between, like your attorney.
3. Don’t dwell on the past: We know that you’re probably in a lot of emotional pain as you try to navigate your divorce. But taking digs at your spouse about past mistakes isn’t going to further your divorce. In fact, it’s probably going to cause you just as much pain and heartache, if not more, than your spouse. It can also make it harder to discuss the legal issues that you need to address to finalize your marriage dissolution. So, try to remain focused on what you want from your future and how you can use your divorce to get there.
4. Be prepared: You should be able to anticipate the conversations that’ll come up between you and your spouse during your divorce. If you can concretely identify those issues, you can prepare what you want to say when those matters come up. By thinking through your spouse’s position, you can also avoid being taken by surprise, which will quell your inner desire to make hasty statements that could end up being harmful to your marriage dissolution process.
5. Realize that past communication styles didn’t work: A lot of marriages end due to poor communication. If that’s true for you, you should realize that what didn’t work during your marriage probably isn’t going to work during your divorce. Therefore, you’ll need to be open-minded about how you’re going to communicate during your marriage dissolution, and don’t be afraid to get creative.

Know your options for navigating your divorce

You’re dealing with a lot right now, and the complexities of the divorce process can leave you feeling overwhelmed. But you might be able to find relief by having an ally on your side during your marriage dissolution. That’s why if you’re struggling to find a path forward in your case, or you’re simply feeling lost, we encourage you to discuss the circumstances of your divorce with a legal professional who may be able to provide you with effective guidance, support and advocacy.