Domestic violence and child custody

On Behalf of | Sep 23, 2022 | Firm News |

Domestic violence is intolerable, and you should not put up with it. It is not safe or healthy, and you deserve better. Unfortunately, abusers will often do anything they can to continue abusing even after their partners have left. Indeed, research shows that over 90% of DV victims still deal with abuse for years (even, decades). However the nature of that abuse changes after separation.

Legal and social abuse

Since the abuser does not have direct, daily access to your body anymore, they will seek ways of abusing you through those people and entities that do have access to you daily. This, usually, is in the form of legal and social abuse.

Legal abuse takes place when they begin to use the California court and police to make your life worse. They may go as far as reporting you for domestic violence or child abuse, and you may end up with a restraining order against you. They want the upper hand, or at least take away your upper hand, in any later court proceeding. They will bring up any drug or alcohol issues and any other bad deeds to paint you in a negative light, even if they have to lie or fabricate evidence.

Social abuse refers to your work and family life, wherein, they will spread rumors and cause drama. They will review bomb your employer and spread lascivious rumors and fabricated evidence across social media. Even if you are a valued employee, many employers will elect to part ways with you rather than deal with whatever your ex is doing.

Child abuse and manipulation

Another disturbing action you may notice is a refocusing of abuse and manipulation on your child. If you notice direct abuse, like bruises, scars, fear, etc., document it, take your child to the doctor (or hospital, if it is urgent) and call your lawyer. Abuse can be the basis of a child custody modification order or child custody revocation in California.

Another form of child abuse and manipulation is parental alienation. Parental alienation is where your ex attempts to break your healthy parent-child relationship. This relationship is key to your child’s development, and the psychological manipulation can cause mental health issues immediately and over your child’s entire life. If you notice that your child is pulling away from you, ignoring you, getting angry for no reason at you or just has cut you off entirely, you may have experienced parental alienation. Mental health professionals can diagnose parental alienation, but let your attorney know about your suspicions immediately. And, once you get the parental alienation diagnosis, update your attorney immediately.