Focusing On Family Law – And You
During and after a divorce, unless the divorcing couple decides to home share or nest, their children will travel between both of their parents’ homes. And, a huge consideration is how to make both homes feel like, home, especially if the couple had to sell the family home.
Saying goodbye
If the California family home is going to be sold, which it almost always is, then the parents must figure out a way to say goodbye to the family home. Sometimes, bringing a piece of the home to each of the new homes can help with that transition. This can be furniture, a beloved wall sconce, a piece of trim with the child’s height marked, etc. Having some kind of celebration for the home can also help with the transition, and be sure to the let everyone grieve the family home.
Talk about the transition
Being open and honest with the kids, and talk about the transition. Explain why it is happening, and let the child be upset. There are going to be questions, and it is important to let the kids ask those questions and feel like they are being heard. Some parents have found that giving their kids books on living in two homes can be helpful to the process.
Make sure the kids have their own, special place
The child will need a feeling of ownership (a sense of place) in both of the new homes. While this can be done with their own bedrooms, that is not always practical or affordable. Though, even where a bedroom is not possible, a corner or some other space should be designated and decorated for them. This can be done with books, posters, a table, etc. The point is to make sure they have a space to call theirs to make it feel like home.
Let the kids help
Giving kids some sense of control can help make the transition much easier. To do this, include the kids in home or apartment shopping, decorating, paint colors and furniture selection. This does not mean giving the kids the ability to select a home and everything in it. Instead, it means making the children feel like they were part of the process.
Reframe as fun and exciting
This time will be scary for Torrance, California, children, but reframing the change as fun and exciting can help children cope. This can be using whimsical paint schemes, adding posters and stickers and always framing the new home and arrangements as exciting new adventures.
